Monday, February 14, 2022

Valentine's Day And Different Expressions of "Love"

 

DUKES FANS:  

 “You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. – Kahlil Gibran  

“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the universe deserve Love” -Buddha    

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” ― Martin Luther King Jr 

Monday, February 14th is Valentine's Day, one of the most celebrated and observed traditions in the United States. Odes to it can be found in just about every cultural form and genre in the United States. Most musical traditions have songs about it. There are endless television sit-coms or scenes in romantic movies where one member of a couple forgets the day or does something screwy on that day. And observance of the day is an all-ages affair. Elementary school kids often make Valentine’s Day cards for their parents and relatives, choose a special person to be, “their Valentine,” and make cards in class. Some religious institutions feature rituals where young children present hearts to senior members of their congregation. And of course, romantic couples buy tons of flowers and sweets, exchange cards and gifts, go out to dinner, go to the movies, and more. This day adds a 23.6-billion-dollar jolt to the US economy. All of this on a day devoted to a romantic notion of "love."  

Of course, the idea of romantic love can be special and wonderful. I was very fortunate to have met, loved, and married this person who was very right for me, and we had a long, loving and wonderful life together. And of course, we loved special foods and special places on Valentine’s Day. But the idea of what Valentine’s Day is for and can be has been evolving in recent years; it has come to embrace a larger definition of “love.” We are no longer a culture where the only acceptable things for an adult to do to be "successful" is to marry and have a family. What love means has expanded. Looking at the idea of “Love” in a non-romantic and larger way, there have been several developments in how Americans think of this day and celebrate the idea of “love”.   

Valentine’s Day itself is also National Donor Day, a day in which people are encouraged to register online or with their state Department of Motor Vehicles in order to be organ donors. There are currently some 120,000 people on waiting lists for organ transplants in the US, and a webpage urging people to register calls registering, “a more concrete way to show love than candy, roses, or teddy bears.” It can save a life and create a legacy. It is fitting that it is observed on this day.  

The days after Valentine’s Day have also gained new purpose and visibility. February 15th is Singles Awareness Day, a day devoted to celebrating self-love, friendship, family love, and seeing being single as a good thing. Begun in 2003 by high school student, it started as a backlash against people not in relationships being isolated on Valentine’s Day. Copyrighted in 2009, it has grown into a popular international holiday, especially on social media. As over 40% of the US population describe themselves as single, the growing popularity of a day celebrating all the different types of non-romantic love makes sense. It can also help us see and appreciate the types of love that are all around us and that we sometimes take for granted.  

February 17th is Random Acts of Kindness Day, another day that celebrates non-romantic love and calls on us to practice and demonstrate it in ordinary, practical ways. Initiated by a Denver non-profit in 1995, the day is a day that calls for people to do small acts of kindness, friendship, help, and compassion for other people-especially strangers. The hope is that this causes people to feel better and to spread that good feeling to other people-sort of a “pay if forward” type of idea. Obviously, this can ideally be done on any day, but Random Kindness Day is designed to highlight kindness and bring it to the fore. I know I am in a much better mood, say, when I am on a crowded bus, and someone offers this old man a seat. That makes my day and the days of people around me on the bus. And I pass that on to other people.  

 And February 20th is National Love Your Pet Day. This is one that is no surprise, since  60% of US residents own at least one pet. Dogs are #1 (40%) and cats are #2 (25%), but there are also folks who own birds, lizards, hamsters, and more. Humans keep pets; doing this is one of the things that separates us from other animals. And the COVID crisis has increased the numbers of folks who do this greatly over the last two years. Clearly, we as a species need a lot of 'pet love.' 

  So on this Valentine’s Day Week let us look forward to more and ever-expanding types and expressions of love. There is a lot of love in the world around us to be seen and to be known. We just have to slow down enough to be aware of it and open to it. There is a lot of love we can all receive and, most importantly, a lot we can all give. Happy Valentine’s Day to you in any and all of its manifestations.  

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